Thursday, January 3, 2013


this is/was a band I am/was in for a bit with three astoundingly talented/weird guys. We made abbynormal/wonderful/loud music that pretty much cleared the room of every show we played. I got to sing/scream/whine about divorce and junkies and assholes and love and hate and ambivalence and politics and apathy and bad ass Irish revolutionaries. Playing music with these guys was probably one of the most positive/exciting/creative/cathartic/enjoyable things i have ever done in my life.

Here are the lyrics that I wrote for the songs. I usually samg them this way, but not always... you get the point...

Now That Yr Gone

now that yr gone i can see through the words
& through yr misery
now that yr gone i can see this isnt where you really want to be

the moon is full
the ditch is deep
the earth is black
but now im on my way

now that yr gone i can see it isnt you & it was never really me
now that yr gone i just have to forget you


aggressor yr hard enough to hold
the hunter, the actor, the utter con
all over the grave of our home
no hope for the hopeful no more

hey lets go, lets run for our lives
aggressor out of our home
aggressor you move so slow

ALL it takes

Loss & yr broken heart
it will get to you too
its a liar
nothings gonna stay that yr gonna wanna keep

just a funny sensation
in the back of your mind
its a lie
nothings gonna stay that yr gonna wanna keep

all it takes is one good heartbreak
and yr rose-tinted world is covered in blood


2nd time around
2nd thing i could see
its rolled up in the secrets i keep
its just another habit

another face to miss
another chance to have it all
pushed up in my skull
its just another habit

minutes left to go
& i can hardly breathe
pile enough to crush me flat
its just another habit

its good enough for you
yr good enough to bleed
its self-served its punishment
its just another habit

what yr gonna do
& what you do to me
its just another habit

even the sun will crash & burn
even the stones wash to the sea
even the moon drifts away
into the dark that passes on

even in you theres a thing that ends
even the cuts that wont come clean
even the parts that seem so deep
into the flesh, into the bone

bobby sands

action & confrontation -> inside its over
yr prison is entertainment for the guards who say
anticipation-> but you were late

take it back - hold it up
I hear you
its not a choice
oh its the air i breathe here
& i walk & i talk & i stand still
& yr looking & yr eyes cant see it
maybe i can held with my...

...death & desecration -> my cause is not the end
its passion for separation, for a home & for truth
nothing new, a million years
              in yr eyes of shame

here today

you deal w/me 
show me things id never see
turn me on/hold me up
you & me we'll never give up

all my friends are here to stay
even when they turn away
here tday and gone tmorrow
glad i got to know you!

an antidote for where were going
& scrape my brain down off the ceiling

we will never fade away, never give it up
never waste another day on what is killing us
search for this heart in our chest
then well give it up
burn down this world gone to shit
then well build it up

tonys lament

thought i had my dream
but it was more to me
than a chemical reaction
left up to the stars

nothing left for me
nothing i can see
thats the way it should be
i dont mind goodbye


always another reason why its coming back to you
a dream through lines & time & tears & a version of the truth
a heavy nightmare piled too high for the rest of us to see
inside the rotted recourse of that impossible new dream

its the crushing weight of the truth
nothing means a thing to you
something passed before yr eyes
dealing with yr thin disguise

make yr own
its burning you

no more time for you to be the emptiest of kings
no more time for this to mean a fucking thing to me
so wipe away the years on the back of yr eyes
maybe then youll see it coming

drag up along the wire of what you have to do
cut it open & watch it bleed & never question you
this is how you deal with me
this is how you lie
& now i come up to claim you


the ghost of you is not the truth
so burn out my eyes
i have always been in here
caught up in my mind
& i could never walk away
or look up to the sky
but fall back in this fire im in
& will be all my life

don’t walk on this ground
don’t step through this door
but now that ive got yr attention

i couldnt really say that i was all alone
but i have no sense of debt
to a god ive never known
nothing above/nothing below
nothing to keep me in this place
but a sense of utter urgency
that mine is my own disgrace

you say that i am lost
& you say that i cannot be redeemed
but my song is louder & now its my turn

to step into this room
& say that Im alone &
i have no answer for this pain thats in my heart
but i did it
yes i did it
i looked you right in the face
with these tears of utter urgency
that mine is my own disgrace 

sweet ditty

no one knows you
cant afford you
but the days they keep rolling by

just another conversation
but i know you wont even try

yr gonna hate them
but you know the god kept on calling

its jumped out of control
another psychotic & a past worth hating

its broken
in a world not quite symmetric

but somehow its still you
& even yr thought begin to fight

its a habit
just a habit
just another heart left infected

but someday yr gonna pay
for the blood you suck & the life you save

what i know

walking down the other side of life
far away from where i came
feeling sick on the other side
coming for you

well i  know my head & I know
im nothing that matters
but ive got my heart i owe
& im gonna stay

far away for a while far away
what i know hurts

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